Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What Kind of White Person Are You?

People are quick to point out that I'm mostly white. I hear a version of the following quite often: "You certainly don't look like a(n) [Indian, Native American, Prairie Nigger]" The people who state the later are a bit insensitive to our politically correct times and usually have a Confederate flag covering more than one of their living room windows. However having 25% Indian in me was a little like having an in at Studio 54 when I went to a conference on race a couple of months ago. "Oh, another white man." "Actually, I'm part Indian." "Well, why didn't you say so? Let me show the secret non-white handshake." Oh, believe me, I played that up as much as humanly possible.

Anyway, like most surfers of the interweb I've been reading Stuff White People Like (silly honkies) and realized that a lot on the list pertained to me quite a bit. So, I thought I'd share my whiteness to the world and point out the stuff this (mostly) white person likes.

Film Festivals
Barack Obama (I'll admit it, I've swallowed the red pill)
Wes Anderson Movies (my favorite is The Royal Tenenbaums)
Non-profit Organizations
Having Black Friends (why isn't having an Indian friend just as cool?)
Gifted Children (I wouldn't have any other kind)
Writers Workshops (a great place to hear everything you want to hear about your own work and secretly laugh at everyone else)
Microbreweries (beer is swell)
David Sedaris
Snowboarding (even though I haven't been on one in about ten years)
The Daily Show/Colbert Report (the Sunday New York Times only comes once a week. Where else can I get my news?)
Breakfast Places
Arrested Development
Apple Products
Indie Music (I liked Vampire Weekend before they played SNL)
Public Radio
The Sunday New York Times
Arts Degrees (MFA, anyone?)
Living by the Water
Sarah Silverman
Dogs (I want one)
Expensive Sandwiches (Rueben Panini, anyone?)
Standing Still at Concerts (though I will bob my head once and awhile)
Michel Gondry
Oscar Parties (I already have my list of winners for next year)
Threatening to Move to Canada (it's only a couple of hours away)
Musical Comedy
The Idea of Soccer (Remind me to buy a new Umbro t-shirt)
Graduate School (an MFA is a really great idea)
Bad Memories of High School
T-Shirts (currently wearing a t-shirt of some cool concert venue in San Diego I've never seen)
The Wire
Having Gay Friends
Dinner Parties
Music Piracy
Free Health Care
New Balance Sneakers (the factory store is just so close)
Grammar (Yes, I do have an opinion on the Oxford comma)
Children's Games as Adults

So, to all the white people out there, what do you like?

1 comment:

JD Rhoades said...

Wonder Bread.