Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Sweet Jesus, Do I Hate The Wiggles
For the uninitiated (and incredibly fortunate), The Wiggles is a children's television show that the Disney Channel insists on airing in the morning, every morning, twice. And since I have a soon-to-be three-year-old (that's him on the right), that means I have to watch the Wiggles in the morning, every morning, twice. Since I'm not a morning person, I can't even begin to tell you how happy this makes me.
The Wiggles are a group of middle-aged Australian guys with constant five o'clock shadow and look hung over in every episode. They look like they should be on some Amber Alert poster. According to a New York Times Magazine article, they formed this musical group after failing as rock musicians. (Thanks to my friend Jenny for pointing out the article. She knows how much I love The Wiggles.) Jeff (Purple), Murray (Red), Greg (Yellow) and Anthony (Blue) - I hate that I can name them all and match their colors, for each one has his own color to wear. These guys are heading for their own special edition of E! True Hollywood Stories. They epitomize those weirdos we tell kids not to take candy from.
But watching the show the other day I saw something that was reall really funny. Every episode has musical numbers (perhaps you've heard "Hot Potato, Hot Potato"?) where there are dancers in the background. Most of these dancers have fake smiles that hide the utter disappointment of their careers. Years of acting and dancing lessons leading only to one-two choreography on a cheesy kids show. But there is one guy who gives it his all. He has as much enthusiasm for dance as Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls. He thinks he's auditioning for Bob Fosse. I wouldn't be surprised if he ended each number with jazz hands or spirit fingers. This guy has so much unwarranted self-confindence. While the others are phoning it in, he's giving 110%. And it is so fucking funny.
So, what does this have to do with writing? I'm glad you asked. Actually, this has to do with my own insecurities as a writer. Dear God, please don't let me be the writing equivalent of that dancing jackass. I don't to go out there with unjustified pizzazz and embarrass myself. I try and avoid going through the motions, but I hope like hell I'm a better writer than that guy is a dancer.