Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Dr. Laura Gives Great Head

That's the only conclusion I can think of after reading about Dr. Laura Schlessinger blaming the whole Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal on Silda Spitzer, the governor's wife. The good doc said the Ho Lotta Love Gov wouldn't have strayed if his wife had satisfied him like he needed. "Hey honey, how about some unsafe sex? No? Well, I'm gonna take $4500 out of savings and send some text messages since you can't satisfy me. Don't wait up."

So, I figure that Mr. Dr. Laura must be the most satisfied guy in America. She must blow him for hours on a nightly basis while he watches reruns of The A-Team and Rockford Files and eats the nachos and chocolate chip cookies she made before he got home from work. Maybe the good doc should teach Silda Spitzer how to give good head. Problem solved. Maybe people would have let Spitzer keep his job if Silda announced her admittance to Blow Job Rehab - which, incidentally, is the most popular wing of the Betty Ford Center.

But didn't Spitzer have more than one ho on the payroll? Wouldn't the first whore be just as responsible as the wife? I mean, if the first could have satisfied him, he wouldn't need to go to other whores. I think I would have asked the Emperor's Club for my money back.

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