Short Story Recommendation

This weekend I read an excellent short story by Uzodinma Iweala (don't ask me how to pronounce his name) titled Speak No Evil in the latest issue of The Paris Review. Iweala is the author of the book The Beast of No Nation. The link above only allows you to read a short excerpt of the story, but the issue is worth buying. The photo essay by Raymond Depardon is pretty good and the magazine's THE ART OF FICTION interview is with Norman Mailer, who is always interesting, even if he is full of shit most of the time.

Also, this month's The Atlanic magazine has an article about Harlan Coben, which is kind of condescending at times. Such an oddity that a magazine that can be a little highfalutin toward genre fiction would have a lengthy profile on someone so securely identified as a best-selling pop fiction writer.

Now for the quest of getting visitors from all 50 states. How about Wyoming? Anyone in the Equality State fans of crime fiction? Does anyone read C.J. Box's Joe Pickett novels who also lives in the state they are located in? Anyone? If you know of anyone, direct them to this blog.

I also want to give a shout out to my Alaskan visitor, Faith Brainerd, who gave into her sister's begging to check out the blog.

When Big Brother Gets Bored

So, every once and a while I'll check my visitors stats and see where my readers are from. Looking at this I realized that a lot of people spell David Copperfield's name wrong. How do I know this? Because I posted something about Copperfield a year and a half ago - and I spelt his name wrong. Oops. Since then I get about ten people a month searching for "David Cooperfield". These people are my biggest readers.

Now the coolest thing I check is Google's Analytics which has a map showing where your readers are from. It highlights all the countries represented, as well as breaks down all of the states in the US. But the US isn't entirely filled in. Most of the states are there, but I've failed to bring in readers from 19. So, I'm starting a push to gain at least one reader from each of those states.

Here is the list (in no particular order):
Alaska
Hawaii
Idaho
Alabama
South Carolina
Oregon
New Mexico
Utah
Tennesse
Rhode Island
Delaware
West Virginia
North Dakota
South Dakota
Nebraska
Wyoming
Arkansas
Ohio
Iowa

If you know someone in any (or all) of those states, tell them to stop by so I can collect their states. In the meantime, I'm going to post something about each state I don't have - but somehow relate it to writing or crime fiction. Let's see if it works. If it does, then I'll start on other countries. Wish me luck.

If a Story Falls in the Woods...

What if you wrote a story and nobody read it? Would it be a failure? Would it be as if it never existed? Would there be a difference between offering it to the world only to have it ignored and keeping it in a desk drawer? Does art exist without an audience? Are the (rumored) manuscripts that J.D. Salinger has tucked away in some vault any less real? (An aside: I'd probably wait to publish after I died too if I had to face the unrealistic expectations those stories are going to be burdened with.) What about those bottom-drawer novels writers accumulate, are they different since they are essentially writing excercises?

I know that one defense mechanism for writers is an exaggerated sense of arrogance about their talents. As much as we may have hated the jocks in our lives with their inflated egos, most of us have achieved some level of false pride, if a lot more delicate than those in the sports world. But I think most writers, as well as most other artists, are more inclined to show their fears of rejection and to talk about it. Does that make us any less talented, or does it only strengthen our self worth?

I guess we must always continue our resolve, no matter where we are in our careers. Even writing this post has given me some encouragement. That doesn't mean I'm going out to be an arrogant prick... just enough of one to get by.

Hump the Stump 2: Stumpy's Revenge

I have a new flash fiction piece up on Bryon Quertermous's Flash Pan Alley, and yes, it's a Stumpy story. Stumpy's Revenge is the Stump's second adventure after he killed off his wife in the first story using his...well, just read it to find out. For those of you who aren't familiar with what is probably my favorite creation, Stumpy is a man with no arms and no legs and no conscience. He also hates bad poetry, especially his dead wife's bad poetry. The Stump is based on a real person whose "assests" were the basis of a really horrible poem. However, he does have all of his limbs, as far as I know (I've never met the poor bastard).

So, enjoy my first sequel and let me know what you think. Maybe Stumpy will return for a third outing.

Birthday

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party.

I would like you to dance--Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance--Birthday
Dance

You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too--yeah
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you

Productive

So, not only did I finish a really shit draft a few days ago, but I also wrote another one. Currently I'm the middle of a third story and just started a flash fiction piece; and yes, the flash is a sequel to HUMP THE STUMP. Last night I did the first read throughs and edits on the finished stories - both need a lot of work, and I felt really bummed about them, but I feel like that after the first reading of all of my stories. My goal is to have all four of these stories completed and sent out for publication by the middle of next week.

Well, back to Stumpy. It's not easy finding a way for an armless, legless man to kill people; but I'll find a way.

Stumpy as Superhero!

Not only is Stumpy the greatest threat to piss poor poetry everywhere, he also possesses some weird ass super powers. Keep taking the fight to them, Stumpy!

Idle Minds Lead to Chaotic Thoughts

So, after thinking about continuing to take classes here in the Journalism Departmet at UMaine, which is actually above my head; I started to look into the PhD program they offer, which has a concentration in Creative Writing. Dr. Allan? Would you read a crime book by Stephen J. Allan, PhD? Probably not. It sounds as impressive as Stephen Allan, MFA - which isn't that impressive.

OK, I'm now taking suggestions for dissertation topics, just in case I do pursue this. It has to do with Mass Communication and Crime Fiction, because I'm not going to stray far from my chosen genre. So, give me some ideas.

Man, I Hate That

So, no more than a few minutes after writing the previous post about how I finished a short story and how I'm really wonderful, etc. - wait that last part doesn't sound like me - I found an article that would have been really good research. I guess when I go back over the story I can incorporate some of the article's elements. I can't believe that some of the information I was looking for while writing my shitty draft comes out in the New York Times the morning after I complete it. Weird.

The Shittiest Shit Draft Ever

I finished the first draft of a short story late last night (actually it was early this morning) and I have to say that it was some of the laziest writing ever, more of a blueprint than actual prose. I'll let it sit for the next week so I can gain some distance from it before I start the first (of many) re-writes. I just have to remember that I made changes to earlier parts of the story as I reached the end. For instance, the weapon my main character has at the end switched from a gun to a knife, so I have to make sure he starts with the knife when I go back over the first half of the story.

But I did finish the story.

Veronica Mars

OK, I'm addicted to this show. We are nearly done with the second season on DVD and I'm bummed that the third season won't be out until October. And it really sucks that the show was cancelled. I should have watched it when it was on. Why do all the good shows get cancelled? Is there any hope for a Veronica Mars movie?

Plus, I'm completely infatuated with Kristen Bell. Thank god she's only six years younger than I am, otherwise I'd fall into that creepy weirdo territory with those guys who were constantly checking the countdown to the Olsen Twins 18th birthday.

itune, you tune, everybody tune

These are the tunes I'm listening to today while I write - in case you were curious.