This was the reason I built a chicken coop in the
backyard. You can feed them through the wire mesh
(Blue Seal Feeds has a sale on right now), hook up a
hamster water bottle on the side. Who needs diapers
when they can go wherever they please on the grass?
Winter isn't a problem because I set up a space heater
in there - just have to check to make sure they
haven't passed out from CO2 poisoning. When DHS shows
up, I just tell them it's a "club house" that the kids
And you really don't have to name them. My kids will
come running when I call them "Urgh" and "Oog". And
get yourself some Beggin' Stripes - they don't know
it's not bacon - god, they love that stuff.
Of course, you may need to get a fence. After a day of
digging holes, they might try to run to the neighbor's
house or the police station. I set up one of those
invisible fences where you put the shock collar on
them. Jesus, I just sit on the back porch and watch
them try to leave the yard. ZAP!! It's the funniest
thing you could ever see. Good times. Kids are
definitely worth it.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
So, a friend of mine sent me one of those group fwd messages we all get from friends and family about parenting. It was a tongue in cheek list of how to prepare for children ("carry a wet bag around the living room for four hours straight while listening to nothing but static on the stereo at high volume", etc.) Anyway, being my smart ass self, I thought I'd reply with my own parenting tips: